Sun Dec 15 2024

Spent the weekend with Pili. Made some childhood dreams come true. Two PS5’s set up in the living room. Video games and pizza until I could barely keep my eyes open. Spent the rest of it with his family in Nalo and out at bars. I don’t know why men keep wanting to fight me in bars, by the way. Thanks to Kenzie, Kahoʻokele, and Pili I made it out okay. I’m thinking of writing some essays and stuff. But for now I just need to write something everyday. A poem from a fragment I found in my phone:

Hau Bush

Where did all the old club muffies go?

I went out the other night

And knew not a soul.

I thought you were part of the decor

Not a tassel, rhinestone, or lash

Of yours on the dance floor.

Just the droppings of these people

Wanting so badly

To feel real

I want to drive out into the middle of a clearing in Ewa Beach to hear the clinking of cheap vodka mixers. I want to feel the rita singe the hairs in my nostrils and at the back of my throat. I want to stand awkwardly in the dark, hanging out of cars, smoking cigarettes, and howling into the night like these bitches.

If you listen closely,

In the middle of the night,

Can still hear those mahu’s  in Ewa Beach.